ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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