i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
