If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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