The maid of honor just puked.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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