i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The power of my boobs compel you
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