I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
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Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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