He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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