you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
