So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
