ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
