You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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