I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
