Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
