Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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