I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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