you guys were way drunker than both of me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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