btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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