need another drink. this is the easiest way
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
