he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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