why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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