ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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