I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
