When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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