@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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