now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
