i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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