Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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