dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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