the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
