What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
