i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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