I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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