Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Randomize
