I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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