Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
