he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
birth control should be required to get into college
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
