Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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