Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
