He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
