hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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