i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
