My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
