what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
