how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
