ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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