Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize