i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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