Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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