using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
