Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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