i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
