dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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