brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
