You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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