so that wasnt chicken after all
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
