Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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