I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
