I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
