How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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