We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
