is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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