Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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