i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
