Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's blow job season.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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