So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
